Brandy's better than I am because this is one of the more Reddit/Dan Savage for the oldsters letters... You're not having sex, you despise each other, and at least one of you is cheating (let's face it, probably both). The idea of being judged a failure or a bad husband is doing 70 to 100 percent (depending on the monetary situation) of the work keeping this marriage together, so, well, you're just going to have to face that fear. After you break up!
I suppose there's a possibility that this person is still someone he would want to continue making a life with, but it seems to me that beyond whatever conflicts exists *between* them, they seem to have, um, diverged sufficiently in their basic social and political perspectives (trying *really* hard not to be too judgemental here), that I'd be wary of spending too much good money on couples therapy.
Exhume is such a good word for the work that needs to happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the only one in this relationship who will be doing that work, though perhaps I’m being unkind.
But even alone, that work is necessary. He’s gotta get a better grip on himself and his role in the marriage rather than just punish himself for emotional infidelity. I hope it worked out!
WTF? She's gone full on drumpf? Run, don't walk, away.
Or is he going to wait until she fills a closet with automatic weapons, tfg paraphernalia, spends more time and money at stupid rallies, goes full on misogynistic (rethugican women are like that), and starts wanting to move because the neighbors are people of color, Jewish, gay and vote Democratic.
JFC.... get the hell out before it's too late and he dies of a stroke. 🙄🙄🙄
I would also suggest that the couple spend time with a good couples therapist, who can remain neutral, and not take sides. Your point about "just being there" is a great one! The writer may have avoided conflict for so long that he has withdrawn, to the point where the relationship has "starved to death." Both members of the couple need to take an honest look at themselves and take responsibility for what has been lost over the years. Then some decisions might be able to be made, whether things could be mended, or if the couple needs to walk away, with a lot of pain and loss.
Brandy's better than I am because this is one of the more Reddit/Dan Savage for the oldsters letters... You're not having sex, you despise each other, and at least one of you is cheating (let's face it, probably both). The idea of being judged a failure or a bad husband is doing 70 to 100 percent (depending on the monetary situation) of the work keeping this marriage together, so, well, you're just going to have to face that fear. After you break up!
I suppose there's a possibility that this person is still someone he would want to continue making a life with, but it seems to me that beyond whatever conflicts exists *between* them, they seem to have, um, diverged sufficiently in their basic social and political perspectives (trying *really* hard not to be too judgemental here), that I'd be wary of spending too much good money on couples therapy.
Exhume is such a good word for the work that needs to happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the only one in this relationship who will be doing that work, though perhaps I’m being unkind.
But even alone, that work is necessary. He’s gotta get a better grip on himself and his role in the marriage rather than just punish himself for emotional infidelity. I hope it worked out!
“She went full Trump” 😂😂😂.
Sounds like a free thinking woman to me. Maybe ask why she’s voting for Trump rather than the war machine.
WTF? She's gone full on drumpf? Run, don't walk, away.
Or is he going to wait until she fills a closet with automatic weapons, tfg paraphernalia, spends more time and money at stupid rallies, goes full on misogynistic (rethugican women are like that), and starts wanting to move because the neighbors are people of color, Jewish, gay and vote Democratic.
JFC.... get the hell out before it's too late and he dies of a stroke. 🙄🙄🙄
I would also suggest that the couple spend time with a good couples therapist, who can remain neutral, and not take sides. Your point about "just being there" is a great one! The writer may have avoided conflict for so long that he has withdrawn, to the point where the relationship has "starved to death." Both members of the couple need to take an honest look at themselves and take responsibility for what has been lost over the years. Then some decisions might be able to be made, whether things could be mended, or if the couple needs to walk away, with a lot of pain and loss.