Speaking from experience, you should leave the country! I'm 31 now. In 2019 I was depressed and single and looking for a full-time teaching job and realized I maybe had one last chance to do something like that before something tied me down, so within a couple months I moved to Spain to teach English. I figured I might as well see if being depressed somewhere else was better. It is!
And my situation was not ideal either--my brother committed suicide 3 weeks after I moved, before I had friends there. I was living alone throughout the beginning of the pandemic when we were like Italy and couldn't go on walks. I had this dream of dating and traveling while I was there and I couldn't do either during 2020-2021.
And it was STILL absolutely the right decision! I stayed for two years (the second year I moved in with roommates) and then moved back to California. I keep in close touch with several friends and am going back for a visit this summer. I still have depression and I'm still single, but now I'm also bilingual and know that I can make a home anywhere and do anything by myself. It was fun and the good kind of challenging.
Move away from your problems! Sometimes you leave them behind but even if you take them with you it's wonderful to have your problems somewhere else :)
And have a baby on your own, if you want! I know people who have. Not easy but heck, we women have a limited timetable for such things. If it means that much to you, don’t want for some potential partner who may never come.
I moved across the country to start my life/start over. I had only a couple of week's pay worth of cash and what I could pack in the back of a car. There were no jobs for me where I lived, and so I wasn't exactly running away. I moved to a place with jobs and a couple I knew. I stayed with them for about ten days. It was long enough to find a place to live and a job.
Brandy's point about leaving is correct. I may not have been able to leave my old self fully behind, but without all the situational triggers everything happening to me and around me was just different enough to help me see at least a few key things that I needed to do differently. Armed with that experience, I was able to build a life. Also, "Leaving Isn't The Hardest Thing" by Lauren Hough. Reinvention is a human birthright. It's work, but if you want to live a different life, it's on the table.
You write beautifully about your difficult situation. I wish you the good fortune to live your new life as beautifully.
Dating through the apps is horrible and traumatic, but just about the only way now to find a partner in your 30s and beyond....so maybe just grit your teeth and keep at it, wherever you end up living? Use one like Hinge for people serious about finding partners/having a family, and accept that it may take a few years or more. And yes, in the meantime, have a baby as a single parent, if you want and can swing it.
Speaking from experience, you should leave the country! I'm 31 now. In 2019 I was depressed and single and looking for a full-time teaching job and realized I maybe had one last chance to do something like that before something tied me down, so within a couple months I moved to Spain to teach English. I figured I might as well see if being depressed somewhere else was better. It is!
And my situation was not ideal either--my brother committed suicide 3 weeks after I moved, before I had friends there. I was living alone throughout the beginning of the pandemic when we were like Italy and couldn't go on walks. I had this dream of dating and traveling while I was there and I couldn't do either during 2020-2021.
And it was STILL absolutely the right decision! I stayed for two years (the second year I moved in with roommates) and then moved back to California. I keep in close touch with several friends and am going back for a visit this summer. I still have depression and I'm still single, but now I'm also bilingual and know that I can make a home anywhere and do anything by myself. It was fun and the good kind of challenging.
Move away from your problems! Sometimes you leave them behind but even if you take them with you it's wonderful to have your problems somewhere else :)
I say go for it!
And have a baby on your own, if you want! I know people who have. Not easy but heck, we women have a limited timetable for such things. If it means that much to you, don’t want for some potential partner who may never come.
Thank you for puncturing the cliché that you can't run away from your problems.
I moved across the country to start my life/start over. I had only a couple of week's pay worth of cash and what I could pack in the back of a car. There were no jobs for me where I lived, and so I wasn't exactly running away. I moved to a place with jobs and a couple I knew. I stayed with them for about ten days. It was long enough to find a place to live and a job.
Brandy's point about leaving is correct. I may not have been able to leave my old self fully behind, but without all the situational triggers everything happening to me and around me was just different enough to help me see at least a few key things that I needed to do differently. Armed with that experience, I was able to build a life. Also, "Leaving Isn't The Hardest Thing" by Lauren Hough. Reinvention is a human birthright. It's work, but if you want to live a different life, it's on the table.
You write beautifully about your difficult situation. I wish you the good fortune to live your new life as beautifully.
Dating through the apps is horrible and traumatic, but just about the only way now to find a partner in your 30s and beyond....so maybe just grit your teeth and keep at it, wherever you end up living? Use one like Hinge for people serious about finding partners/having a family, and accept that it may take a few years or more. And yes, in the meantime, have a baby as a single parent, if you want and can swing it.
I wonder how much she makes.